I'm average at everything, except being me, at which I rule!
Being Me involves:
knowing well the look of confusion on other people's faces
Worrying unduly that everyone is upset with me, all the time
Making strange noises to express myself. After a while, friends start to know what your "talking" about ;)
Biting people. They are love bites, truely!
Buying wicked Birthday presents
Trying on hats in shops. Blatant old lady hats are the best
Listening to the little voices in my head. Things I have learnt through doing that...
"What is through the door that says staff only?" - A guy carrying carpet and singing along at the top of his voice to Phil Collins. He doesn't like the intrusion.
"How will _______ react if I put my finger in their mouth when they yawn?" - Most people jump, then bite you.
"Can I get away with smacking platonic friends arses on a regular basis?" - Yes, they seem to like it
"Can I shimmy?" - No, and next time you're not sure if you can do something, don't try it in public with friends present
"How many takes did they have to get that malteaser advert filmed?" - I am incapable of blowing a malteaser directly in the air and catching it in my mouth. I can however effectively spit malteasers into my own eye sockets.
That sometimes I should know when to stop talking. Why do I not have that ability?